I forgot what it’s like to, literally, enjoy myself. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt present with myself. A good acid trip changes that and it did. I got so stuck doing the same thing for weeks and not really caring about how I look or how I was. I hurt my love a lot but I have apologized since my trip. My depression was terrible then. I mean, it’s low now but I know it’s still there and I wish I could make it go away. My days were melded together and so foggy. I hated myself and didn’t want to be anything anymore. Not killing myself but simply not anything.
I’m working on being present and positive. I’m working on being better. I never thought that being better to myself was so difficult.